When I was getting back into jogging, I saw a meme that really resonated in me. It read:
“Someone busier than you is running right now.”
That logic has stayed with me and become a source of motivation.
We make time for the things that matter. We don’t make excuses. If you’re making excuses, then the thing you’re not doing isn’t really that important.
I am using this logic to keep painting. My apt is small and not at all conducive to painting. I am a working, single mom. I’m stressed pretty much all the time. But if painting matters to me, then I’ll make time for it (even in this little apartment).
Case in point: I’m working on my largest painting yet. This is my “studio”:
I’m making it work because it’s something I want to do. (Albeit somewhat inexplicably bc who decides to be a painter at 44?)
I’m also blogging to keep up some writing. I’m using my cell phone as I type this. I’m making do because writing matters too.
What are you making time for in your life?
I know I should be seeing a therapist but I’m stubborn.
I know I’m using food and wine to anesthetize myself.
I know these are terrible and destructive methods of coping with my emotions and stress.
And yet, I still do it. Old habits are hard to break. But I’m gonna try.
I’ve been painting. I am drawn to it and am pursuing it (when I can) because of the Rumi quote, “what you seek is seeking you.” Although I am using YouTube videos to learn about painting, I am determined to continue.
One thing I’ve noticed is that when I don’t use food or wine to distract myself from my emotions, I’m much more productive. I clean more and now, I’m painting more.
I finished an acrylic painting of my son last week (I’m sharing progress photos):
And another this weekend (12×12):
And tonight I’m starting again:
The painting on the wall of the woman is oil paint. I prefer oils but acrylics are more practical. They just drive me crazy because the paint dries so fast.
The point of this, of course, is that if you dont dull yourself with alcohol or distract yourself with food, there are a lot of things you can do. Like butcher a canvas.
First, let me say that painting is so much harder than it looks.
Second, I’ve never taken any art classes, so everything I create reflects my progression as a self-taught painter.
Lastly, I prefer oil painting but my small apartment makes it too hard to do, so I’m focusing on acrylics.
Acrylics are driving me crazy because I prefer blending on the canvas. And as you know, acrylics dry within seconds essentially. I have tried to use a slow-dri medium but it doesn’t make acrylics like oils. It still dries too fast in my opinion. But, space (and money) reinforce my commitment to acrylic painting.
This painting, which I call Safe Harbor, reflects my struggles with blending with acrylics.
I dont know why I’m writing about this. I just feel like sharing. And blogs are great for that.